Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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