I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
