She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize