maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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