So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
