her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
