theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
