she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
