He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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