its not stalking. its research.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
