My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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