...so i touched it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Randomize
