Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
