Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
