After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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