I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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