What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
