My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
