too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
whose parrot is this?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
