Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
