I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
