I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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