I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
