My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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