Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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