You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
