Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
