Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
