i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the condom got lost in my hair
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
