I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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