its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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