U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
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hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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