so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
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YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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