ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
