I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize