1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
