Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
