Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
