Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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