So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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