I'm laying in your front yard are you home
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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