So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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