My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
did i just pee glitter
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
