forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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