awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
