Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
