Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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