There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
