i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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