She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
