i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
