I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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