I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
