I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
