The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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